It’s amazing how you can get through many months not pinpointing a certain date until something so specific to yourself lands on that date. The day to anyone else doesn’t mean anything but to you there’s something so meaningful to this certain time of the year. The day of my accident is something I will never forget, I can retrace my steps, smell the cold air, feel the chill on my face and hear the same sounds. I will always have an affinity to this date, my mind will never forget and will permanently be imprinted on my soul. The world never stops, soon the years start flying by. With having a life changing injury, you slowly through the years start to learn from your experiences. Trying to fathom out what the meaning of these experiences are can be incredibly challenging, but once realising why you are sent to overcome the dark days gives you strength and refuge knowing that one day all the unwanted pain and the heaviness you feel right now will slowly dissolve and become something rewarding. I’m learning that there‘s always a way to grow from these life lessons. At times I felt like I was standing on the edge of the diving board looking down at the deep dark water not knowing what my future holds but taking the risk to help improve my life instead of walking back to the empty past in which I have been living. Jumping into the unknown was a way I felt like I was growing from difficult situations.
Life is full of chapters. Pages turn, new stories are written, and life loves a plot twist. Along our many pages of life we all grieve in some way or another. Grief can be struck from losing a loved one, pet, your old self etc and as much as you want grief to shrink in time instead your life just develops around it. when you feel like you are in the eye of your own storm, it’s hard to imagine there could ever be a time where it isn’t suffocating you. Many people will tell you the pain will pass, and you will eventually heal, but you don’t believe it. How something so devastating ever become something ordinary? But here I am, years on from the summit of my hurt, laughing and living and thinking, it really did happen.
The things I grieve for are all still missing but somehow it doesn’t feel anywhere near as large or looming as it once was. Everything doesn’t need to be perfect in order for me to be happy, I know I’ll continue to have down days as well as days where I thank my lucky stars for those bliss moments. My heart will still hurt for many reasons, but it’ll continue to expand with happiness.
11 years ago today, I had a tragic accident, and I became Carly Taylor a C4 quadriplegic. I certainly didn’t think my life would be worth living.
Well, it turns out I was wrong. I’m currently perfectly living in an imperfect world.
Happy re-birthday to me 🌸💗
